Dumbology: The Definition of Dumball

So is it for you?

First, let's get one thing straight: THE DUMBALL IS NOT A HOLIDAY. It's a challenge, just like any other that's undertaken for charity. We can't promise you won't breakdown everyday, sit for hours waiting for help, encounter werid locals or dodgy cops - but we can guarantee a collection of anecdotes you'll be telling the grandkids. It's all about taking a step back and taking great pleasure in the madness you have immersed yourself in. Always bare in mind that if nothing goes wrong, something has gone wrong. Be ready for failure - and rejoice in it when it enevitably happens. The fun really starts when you breakdown, get lost, or suffer amazingly tedious set backs. Can you have a good time even after 19 hours sat at a Russian border crossing? We held the biggest "car park party" the Ruskis had ever seen. If this sounds like your bag - then the dumball is for you. If you dig extremities, and prove you can be heroic under duress, you never know, you might even end up with the prize everyone is vying for: 'The Spirit of Dumball Award' - a monkey carved out of a coconut.

There is no support network whatsoever covering the dumball. You are on a crazy mad-cap adventure not a school holiday: which means there are no support vehicles, no medical arrangements and no arranged back-up to get you to our destination. The three-per-car rule means you are likely to be able to get into another participant's car if you break down, but you must be aware that there is no guarantee of this.

Having said that, there is such a thing as 'dumball spirit' - would you leave a fellow dumballer stranded on the hard shoulder? If so, don't bother reading on...

What makes the dumball different to all those other banger rallys?

There are always immatators - naturally. Be we are the original pan european banger rally - and leagues ahead of the others. Unlike every other banger rally out there, we help you out as much as we can. You get accomodation arranged and included, as well as slap up meals, ceremonies and parties. On the road, instead of going off on our own, we stick together - an un breakble team of show-off morons. And the best bit - we don't make a profit - so it's a cheap as is humanly possible!

You may have gathered by now that the dumball is all about driving in convoy and posing in places we have no right to do so. So we can stick together, we split the cars into groups which we quite grandly call ‘squadrons’ - who communicate via shortwave radio. Oh yes Bosshog! Each squadron weaves their way to our daily destination, spreading magic, madness and mayhem as they go.

Your fee includes all ferries, accomodation group parties, an awards ceremony and when you arrive at the dumball meeting point, you’ll be given a bag full of stuff. Dogtags (so we can identify you) a driver's manual, cool t-shirts to wear and most importantly your short wave radio which will be tuned to speak to other members of your squadron. The Radios are great fun, and chatting away to the other members of your squadron will keep you sane as we hot-foot it across Europe (well almost). Great games to play over the radios include ‘name that tune’ (best if you have an iPod) and the hours will fly by with a game of ‘guess what number I’m thinking of’...

We don't need to explain the reward of driving across the entire continent whilst raising money for a good cause. But don't forget it's a competiton. It's all about showing off - getting noticed, and becoming legendary amongst your fellow dumballers. The winner get's the heralded monkey - bought for three euros on the first ever dumball, and passed from winner to winner ever since...

THE SPIRIT OF DUMBALL MONKEY

This is the highest honour one can receive. It is given to the group who show the most passion, courage and madness along the way. It's made out of a coconut and mounted on rich mahogany. Mmmmmmmm - you can almost smell it. You know you want it.

THE BEN CREAN PRIZE FOR PEACE

This award is given to the person who displays the most willing to improve "inter-continental relations", named after the man who made this award his own.

THE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG SHIELD

This is given to the first person to lose their car. Don't let it be you...on second thoughts - go on, let it be you.

THE DAME EDNA AWARD

Given to the team who dresses up the best, and maintains the level throughout the week. Can you black up as Mr T everyday? This is what we do.

THE ADAM HORN BLING BLING TROPHY

Awarded to the coolest dumballer of the trip...Named after the late great dumballer Adam Horn himself. Are you too cool for school? Wicked a wicked a whack. (or something like that).

THE TIM WESTWOOD BASEBALL CAP

Given to the car with the best paint job. Awarded at the start of the rally, and worn with pride throughout. The baseball cap is blessed by Mr Westwood before it leaves the UK.

THE BLIND BAT

For the car that gets hopelessly lost time and time again. The creation of this award gets more creative every year. Last year it was simply a cricket bat. It just doesn't make sense!

Think long and hard about what car to buy. Automatic is a god send, as is a larger engine size. Make sure you have someone who knows their stuff check the car before you leave.

Buy your car at least ONE MONTH before the event, so that your V5 document arrives in time - otherwise you will have problems leaving your vehicle on the continent.

THE PAPERWORK

Remember that every car on the dumball must be legal to drive in every country we pass through. Bring your vehicle registration document (V5), your insurance policy and Insurance documents. All insurers cover you for the EU, if we drive through countries outside the EU, you can purchase insurance on the border as we enter the country. Temporary EU insurance for a week costs around £120 for three drivers.We also recommend getting an IDP (international driving permit) from a post office for £5 - these are especially useful outside the EU.

DITCHING THE CAR

We will always endeavour to find a scrap yard or recycling plant to leave your car at when we reach our destination. If you want to make other arrangements, that's up to you...

NAVIGATING THE ROUTE

You will be given a drivers manual that details everything you need to know: meeting places & times, who your team leader is, maps and accommodation details. Also bring currency for the countries we will travel through. If you don't, you have to find a cash machine when you get there, and that can be more of a pain than it sounds: we're not going to Birmingham after all.